With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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