By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
