just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
