Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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