I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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