From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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