rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He felt like a one man threesome
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
