I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
