Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
