Umm I'm too high to move.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
