She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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