"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
