is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
