So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Randomize
