His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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