Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
