another moral hangover. fuck.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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