We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
