she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
