Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
