NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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