I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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