Porn is love you can see.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
