i jhust puked up my retainher.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
