Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The Olympian is in my bed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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