I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
being pregnant is like rehab
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
