I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
how drunk are you?
Several
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
