Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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