HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
