so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
