I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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