Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
