8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
