i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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