So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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