i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
