The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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