Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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