He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
