i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And then my night got REAL pukey
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
