Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I smell like Dick and happiness
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
