im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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