So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize