spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
