Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.

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(917): View more from New York City

you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.

(720): View more from Colorado

ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...

(917): View more from New York City

no it doesn't.

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(518): View more from New York

for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt

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(931): View more from Tennessee

My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.

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(917): View more from New York City

just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie

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(206): View more from Washington

I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.

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