I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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