i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
