A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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