Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
