Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize