Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
