I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
