Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
