my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize