Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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