Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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