if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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