once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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