You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
