White coat. Heels.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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