I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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