We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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