he shaved USA in his pubs
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
