whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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