U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
