My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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