just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
