since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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