in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
