So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
