I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
