i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
