Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
