i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize