honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
