So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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