okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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