im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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