I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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