If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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